forgive me for being a little weepy today...

Today was supposed to be my due date.. yes supposed to be. If everything had gone right and not wrong I'd be a Mommy... or about to be a Mommy. It's just funny to think about, when I got that "positive" I was so scared. I was terrified. All I could think was that I wasn't ready. I don't want this right now. And then I didn't have it. I was sad and a little relieved. It's funny how nine months can change your outlook on things. If everything had gone right it would be different. Now I feel like I am ready and that I would be ready if I were about to pop. Now I just hear other peoples happy news that they are expecting and I feel sad all over again. I am very happy for them, but sad for me. I don't think I could have or would have left VT if I was going to have a baby. My friend is due on the 9th and I will be there on the 11th to see her and hopefully the baby too! Our babies would have been a week apart and that would have been fantastic.

Maybe next year.... who really knows.