weeks and months

from now on (if everything goes according to plan) everything will be counted in weeks and months... I'm pretty excited but cautious. So much happening but nothing happening at the same time.

forgive me for being a little weepy today...

Today was supposed to be my due date.. yes supposed to be. If everything had gone right and not wrong I'd be a Mommy... or about to be a Mommy. It's just funny to think about, when I got that "positive" I was so scared. I was terrified. All I could think was that I wasn't ready. I don't want this right now. And then I didn't have it. I was sad and a little relieved. It's funny how nine months can change your outlook on things. If everything had gone right it would be different. Now I feel like I am ready and that I would be ready if I were about to pop. Now I just hear other peoples happy news that they are expecting and I feel sad all over again. I am very happy for them, but sad for me. I don't think I could have or would have left VT if I was going to have a baby. My friend is due on the 9th and I will be there on the 11th to see her and hopefully the baby too! Our babies would have been a week apart and that would have been fantastic.

Maybe next year.... who really knows.