New Year's Eve

So here it is, New Year's Eve... I can't say I've ever done anything for New Year's Eve. No, I take that back, once my family went downtown for First Night. First night is a really lame thing were you freeze your ass off and go see all these "cool" things that people put on. I don't know, it was super lame and we all froze... it's really never warm here on New Year's. 

So yeah, Darin and I played Animal Crossing, watched tv... and now we are going to play more Animal Crossing. Oh yeah, so fun. 

I'm hungry.. like always. lol. Buuuut we have no food! Poop. 

I hope everyone else is having a wonderful night!!

just a little creativity

downtown Portland OR
Originally uploaded by Erin O'Riordan

so I just spent the last hour or so on Photoshop instead of making dinner... my tummy is empty!! Darin is home now and he is taking care of me like he always does! He is making DINNER!!! Wow, it's amazing how more upbeat I am when he is with me! i guess that just goes to show how good he is for me! Oh I am happy now!!

'Night!

tick tock

As each day passes we are one day closer to being MARRIED!! 

It frightens me,

It calms me,

It excites me,

really..... it's just a big unknown and I fear that one day you will grow tired of me.

I sit here typing this all alone and I'm scared and A L O N E

Everything seems to scare me, I'm such a fool.

I don't have a job... the economy sucks... no one is hiring...

I hate being A L O N E

I always get bogged down and drown in my own self pity.

I wish I had friends here that I could go visit for a hug and some company.

I miss my friends, I miss California.... even just to be able to live so damn close to my best friends. FUCK. 

I moved back here to be closer to my family and now they want to move away... not right NOW.. but in the next 5 to 10 years... screw it. I'm broke and in a shitload of debt. 

I told you that I drown in my own self pity... I hate it but it is so hard to feel up beat and positive when I'm A L O N E

Well, here goes! 

I bought Animal Crossing City Folk for the Wii and it consumes most of my time awake when I'm home.. too bad I can't get paid to play it! ha ha ha! I wish I had friends who played it too so I could be super lame and visit them on it. he he

I want to get back into Photography but as beautiful as it is here I don't feel inspired to take photos... how many shots of a barn can one take???? bahhh I get super fashion-kinda ideas that I want to shoot but I don't know where to do it and I want to be the model and I don't want to do the editing. So since I'm so damn picky it's pretty hard to get that shit done! I know that I want to do a shoot in the parking garage at the mall at night... but I'd have to get Darin on board (not hard I'm sure) and then get all the details worked out.. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do... but the ideas never stop flowing. I miss the urban places where I could go to shoot, I miss the culture of other places really... It's freaking hard living in the whitest state (not just because of all the snow >_<)! I dunno, if I get creative I'll post some stuff up, don't hold your breath!! 

okay, I really need to cook myself some dinner seeing as it's almost 8:30! 

bye!